I grew up in a town, in Transilvania, and I spent a lot of time in my grandmother’s house, in a village nearby. Specially in winter, my grandmother would have a lot of handicraft projects. She would visit other ladies, take patterns on a paper, other ladies would visit her and they worked together, talking about all the happenings from the village. She would get excited about some new pattern, some new colors, trying to find a way to „get the pattern”, to get the proper color, to try a new technique.
Yes, it is important to be creative together, there was always a strong energy in the room when more ladies were around one table, sharing ideas.
I could not wait to be big enough to help, to be accepted in the women’s world and maybe even to learn some of the techniques from my grandmother.
Yes, it is necessary to be creative alone, taking time to dream about your next project, or just working and beeing present.
In my grandmother’s life there was a time for everything, and the nature was dictating her rhythm I do not remember to hear her saying she is in a hurry, or complaints that she had no time. She had just the time she needed to do what she was supposed to do.
Yes, it’s important to make time, make space, find your center. But do not forget you are the owner of hour time, not the other way around.
Make friends with your cycles and womb? I am still working on that, I did not have the chance to learn about these „feminine problems” from my grandmother, it was a tabu subject in those times.
The gate was always open, people were coming, asking for help, my grandmother going to the neighbors when she needed something, the whole village, like a big family. When somebody was sick, they would make turns in sitting with the sick one, when somebody married, they would all cook something and help. Yes, people were givers and receivers in a very harmonious way.
The way I remember my grandmother, she would look at the sky before starting a job, she would pray God for help and then accept things the way they were. She was listening to her intuition, or to God, and she would just do what she knew deep inside that she had to do. I read a lot of books, I think a lot, but I am not so happy as my grandmother seemed to be. Lately, since I learn to listen to my body and my intuition, I have moments of pure happiness. I will follow this path.
Did my grandmother had „quality time” for herself ? I do not think she even thought of that. Life was a chain of events, things that had to be done, when the nature would allow you to do them, so at the end of the day, knowing you „listen” to the signs of nature was maybe one of the most rewarding feelings. Everybody nurtured the nature, everybody was interconnected. Yes, she recognized she was „good enough”, because she believed that each of us are coming to this world for a reason.
What made her heart sing? I think singing, she had the voice of an angel. She did sing, in church, each time she had the chance. And she would sing while she was working, in the field or with the needle.
My grandmother did not think of her sensuality, but she was for sure very clear about love relations. When she first met my future husband, even before we knew we were in love, she told me „tell him that he is not going to take you away”. She felt something that we were not aware of at that point, but according to her, „you never leave your country for a man”. Being a love-emigrant was not acceptable, or not wise, like traveling. Because, she said, „you never see enough, you never hear enough, and you never eat enough”.
No need for magic outside the comfort zone for my grandmother, the magic was just around her, all the time, and that was God.
For her, I was a crazy woman, I am not sure she really accepted my choices, but I did love her, and that’s why I could to be crazy even if she did not like it.
When I was young, I though my grandmother had a boring life. Work, work and more work, animals, garden, the same jobs year after year. Once I asked her if she would choose another life if she had the chance, and she said „no way”. For somebody who had to go through a war, being alone at home with two babies, hiding from the Russians,then from the Hungarians, for somebody how had to visit her brothers where they were deported in the communist time and for somebody who lost all her land, even around the house, when the communism came to power, I did expect something else. She lost her husband, she lost a kidney, one daughter was divorced with a child (me) , the other one married late with somebody she was not very happy about, one life experience after another, but still not bored, still not complaining.
When I was young I thought my grandmother’s life was boring : garden, animals, family, handicrafts and God. Now I know better, and I start appreciating how powerful handicrafts are: they bring you closer to creation…
Some days ago she could have celebrated her 97’s anniversary . Thank you, grandmother spirit, wherever you are, for passing your passion to me.